A little lost and broken. the best are.

I haven't seen it for a while now.

I haven't seen you for a while now.

I can't be too surprised it's fairly stubborn  when told what to do. And shoot, blame the head, send it on a train to nowhere. 17 years of being locked into a cage is a long time, it's bound to break out and leave one day. So here's my little flyer hung on every street corner and light post:

"lost heart" 

Please return if found.

P.s. Handle with care-extremely fragile. 

I would of given a reward, a million pieces glued into the best heart shape I could manage to make.

But no one wants a half working heart anyways. 

So here's to you heart,

Know I've been missing you. Sorry for all the times I didn't respond when you'd scream through my chest, I'm feeling the pain of ignoring you now. And late is better than never. 

Understand I've been curious these past 6, 379 days what it would be like if I lived with you making every decision. It's ok you've been selfish and wanted that. 

I'd let you be selfish. Because I love you.

All your broken pieces and all. 

I know you think you need everyone to love you but I need you to come back.  I'll make you realize one person is enough. The gift of life you gave to me, and I've never gotten a better gift. 

If you find him, 

Which I suppose already you've went and visited him...

It's ok I'm not mad, just ask for the rest of your pieces back. Don't be shy, you deserve them. 

I'll help you use up the rest of the glue. 

& sometimes nature stings

It wasn't predicted that it'd rain today.

But I grabbed my boots anyway, because when it comes to you there's always a slight chance.  
I painted my nails red that whole year because it reminded me of you. what you were.

Danger.

But you always looked nice.

I'm not pretending though that I don't know you're a tornado. You know exactly what your doing, spinning me in circles 

Round and

Round and

Round.

And I've seemed to have lost everything I thought I knew. And I didn't think letting you in gave you permission to move me.

You're the leaves in the fall. And those days are always cold. Different pieces of you getting blown away from me little by little everyday.

Don't deny it. I can feel you leaving.

And I'm running outside in panicks screaming your name. trying to collect all of your pieces, gathering them all in a pile.
Cause when you come back I want to be the one you can count on to help you find yourself.

I bet you forgot I told you I was here though. 

Who can blame you, its not like I was ever on your list to kiss.

And

I,

you,

and

we,

all know nothing except that is ever on your mind, is it.

Ya see baby, now you've got me gettin' cold.

Cause we're talking about your heart.

And I bet my last breath, the doctors are looking everywhere for you. You've got so many hearts that you've stolen. I know from experience, not one gave them to you with permission. And maybe someone forgot to mention to you,

I needed that heartbeat to have that breath. 

But you stole that away too.

So I'm left here swallowing the tears that I keep telling everyone is rain drops. Laying in all the pieces of you.

and I've been wondering if I still want to remember what your smile looks like.

I've come to the conclusion you've left

 these pieces behind for me to remember you by.

and I hope you don't expect a thank you.

Cause it's colder than I imagined just laying here.

I thought maybe the sunsets would bring me the warmth. We use to just watch them, cherishing every full minute.

Because we understood how quickly they got bright and how shortly they stayed around to be seen and enjoyed.

And I never thought I'd be relating this to you.

 but yet again

Watching the sunset is like watching our ending.

You always said,

the many different bright colors fading out sealed the deal of "happily ever after" within a day. 

But at the end of it, all I feel is cold, dark and sad. 

And maybe this is all the imagery of what coming to a real ending feels and looks like. 
And all I can say is...

I can't wait for the night to stop raining.

for the sunrise to come.

it was cold & the feeling was numb.

death...well its a lot of things.
Its grief, pain, and sorrow.
its the

"I was suppose to see them tomorrow"

and the

"I'll never forget, because I will always love them."

Its the broken hearts, the 1 missed call on the answering machine and the flowers left on the porch.

 

 

 

We say hate and death are the opposite of love and life.

but oh how they remind eachother of eachother.

They're so much alike, just as love cannot be explained or written or told or expressed
neither can death.
Death is personal. Death is not the end of living. or the end of loving.
despite what this horrible sickening world tells you.

These things live within you, these people are loved by you.

Don't let this world make you cold.

 If there is something I know both you and I can conquer, it is the inability to see the numb.

Surely you have a fire inside of you for the purpose of warming others.

Although it is cold, don't let death make your fire go out.