things just changed

The days were spent selling lemonade bringing in a grand total of about 7$ for the day. The nights spent playing night games hoping I'd get to hide with my crush. The biggest worries was when my best friend got grounded or when she thought it was her turn for my favorite toy.
Insecurities, self doubt, low confidence, failure, stress...what does that even mean?

I haven't touched crayons in years. I don't trust myself with them, or maybe I'm just fearful of them...

Why is it that crayons use to be my favorite tool and now my phone is
How is it that the lemonade stand turned into a full time job working late hours
That those friends I played with everyday I don't even know where they are now
Or how about when my crush didn't like me back so I bought a sno-cone and was over it in tops 2 hours and now I make up sad poems and sing along to sad songs about heartbreak.

Yesterday I was just a kid. But today I woke up afraid of the crayons.